True story: I once knew a woman who went to a costume party. She took great care to hand sew an elaborate costume. It was absolutely gorgeous! She spent days eagerly anticipating the event. But when she arrived, the party wasn't everything she had imagined. It was too hot, for one thing. There was plenty of food, but it wasn't what she wanted. And where was the entertainment? There was none! She pulled up a chair and sat in the heat, away from everyone else and was mad as heck that it was such a lousy party. The sun beat down on her as she ate the food she didn't like all alone on the edge of the event scowling. But she didn't leave! Why did she stay? Because she thought she should win the prize for the best costume. So, she waited. Some people tried to start a conversation with her, but she was so angry that they gave up. In fact, there were a few people that started to make fun of her. It was a big party and it was a couple of hours or more until the judging of the costumes. Finally, the judges made their decision. The winner had a costume that was very similar to the woman who was angry, but it was clearly store bought and just kind of thrown together. She did not have the best costume, but she did wear a huge smile and it was clear that she was having a ball. As you can probably imagine, the woman who worked so hard to make a stunning costume was livid. She left in a huff and I never saw her again.
This isn't a story of good or bad, right or wrong. It's just a story about something that happened. The outcome was kind of predictable because stories like this happen every day. I could ask, "Why didn't the best costume win the prize?", but we already know the answer. A better question is, "Why did the woman insist on staying when she was having a miserable time?", but the answer to that, sadly, is also obvious. The best question is, "If she was determined to stay until the end, why didn't she try to enjoy herself?" The answer to that might be that it never crossed her mind that it was within her power to change her own experience.
Here is a fact of life that I learned only too recently: If you don't rule your mind, your mind will rule you. We must take some time each day to examine our own thoughts. Indeed, examining the contents of the mind to understand the lens through which we see the world.
Although, I never saw that woman again, I did receive a message concerning her this week. The message was sent to me via text from a number I did not recognize. When I opened the message it was an invitation to a memorial service for her. The message was sent from someone in her church community. Her life's story has ended. I hope there were other parties and that she enjoyed them very much.
May each and everyone of us remember that all matter in the Universe is temporary. The times we judge as "good" and the moments we judge as "bad" are impermanent. These bodies we live in and become attached to are subject to the very same laws of transience. Whether we find ourselves dissatisfied by work, relationships or other events, we really only have 3 choices: 1) Remove ourselves from the situation, 2) remain unhappy about the situation, 3) change the way we view the situation.
Deepest Shanti and Prem,
S.
This isn't a story of good or bad, right or wrong. It's just a story about something that happened. The outcome was kind of predictable because stories like this happen every day. I could ask, "Why didn't the best costume win the prize?", but we already know the answer. A better question is, "Why did the woman insist on staying when she was having a miserable time?", but the answer to that, sadly, is also obvious. The best question is, "If she was determined to stay until the end, why didn't she try to enjoy herself?" The answer to that might be that it never crossed her mind that it was within her power to change her own experience.
Here is a fact of life that I learned only too recently: If you don't rule your mind, your mind will rule you. We must take some time each day to examine our own thoughts. Indeed, examining the contents of the mind to understand the lens through which we see the world.
Although, I never saw that woman again, I did receive a message concerning her this week. The message was sent to me via text from a number I did not recognize. When I opened the message it was an invitation to a memorial service for her. The message was sent from someone in her church community. Her life's story has ended. I hope there were other parties and that she enjoyed them very much.
May each and everyone of us remember that all matter in the Universe is temporary. The times we judge as "good" and the moments we judge as "bad" are impermanent. These bodies we live in and become attached to are subject to the very same laws of transience. Whether we find ourselves dissatisfied by work, relationships or other events, we really only have 3 choices: 1) Remove ourselves from the situation, 2) remain unhappy about the situation, 3) change the way we view the situation.
Deepest Shanti and Prem,
S.
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